The holiday period brings with it a lot of interesting moments for us all, especially when you are a big kid yourself and the real kids get some new and awesome toy you take a liking too. That is unless you’re a boring old biddy/bastard with a bad attitude and poor personal hygiene, but I digress….
Kids generally get a lot of crap from the jolly big man in red each year, with the majority worthy of nothing more than a fleeting memory of money once resident in your pocket, now resident in the garbage bin after little Johnny/Johnnyette got a little too vigorous at play and snapped/crushed/shattered then discarded most of it.
There are however some items that rank up there with the best in terms of FUN FUN FUN. Not just for the real kids, but for the BIG kids too! Now you might be thinking I am about to lurch down the road of Toy Story-ish activities such as dad playing dolls with little Johnnyette or Lego with little Johnny. Nope not even close. But maybe some of us should consider those activities instead….
This dad has discovered an unbelievably fun activity. One that provides exercise with a sense of freedom and speed. One that provides an opportunity to do something with the kids instead of just watching them from a distance. I speak of none other than the humble and re-invented scooter!! Yes those fine folks at Madd Gear have created an item that is nothing short of brilliant – the MGP Pro Scooter! Yes this little pearler is truly the most addictive thing to be unleashed on parents since…well since…can’t think of much else but if I do I will get back to you straight away!
This bugger of a thing is truly amazing. However it does have a downside. A big and potentially dangerous one at that. But before I draw the ire of the maker’s lawyers, I need to stress that it isn’t a flaw in the design, or the scooters fault in any way whatsoever. No, it’s the ability of the parent to actually ride the thing safely. Or not as it turns out!
Ok, ok I will get to the point. I sit here writing this nursing a sprained wrist/thumb and a bruised ego. Oh and a burning desire to go and get me one of these things for myself!!! You see Boxing Day 2011 changed me forever. Ok well not forever as that’s a friggin long time, but at least until the swelling goes down anyway. My home city has many waterfront parks and walkways, all with fantastic concrete paths designed for cycling, walking and other such activities. Thankfully in places it also has grass run off’s for errant out of control parents trying to be 10 years old again too!! Taking on the kids in races up and down the walkways seemed like such a fun idea at the time. Seemed like a harmless activity we could all participate in. I am now rethinking that idea a little and plotting a bigger and better approach, one which does not involve this dad sending my kids and other onlookers into frenzied, hysterical laughter at the sight of a middle-aged kid doing cartwheels over the handlebars of a bright orange kids scooter! That’ll teach me not to try cutting my daughter off at warp speed won’t it…..
No it won’t actually, because this big kid will do it again, and again and then again no doubt! But wiser next time. Yes MUCH wiser. I now have a plan. An evil plan. Time to see if I can get a big kids version and line up on the starting grid again, ready to take out the kids and any other dumb arse parent as Madd as me! Let’s see those little pre teen, cherub faced wannabe’s race against something bigger, faster and quite possibly more insane. Maybe even a motorised version! Yes, a motor is a brilliant idea so when I run out of puff I won’t stop! Shouldn’t be too hard to modify one you’d think… Mwahahahahaha this is sounding better by the second now!
Ok, well I am off to go book that hospital bed now so there won’t be any waiting when it all turns to shit!! Wish me luck.