It is time for a genuine rant from a mid lifer so sorry in advance!
So we are nearing the end of the annual insanity affectionately known as the “festive season”. Hmmm. Festive huh? I have several other words for it which may or may not get me labelled as the fucking Grinch. Funnily enough it has nothing to do with having a bad time over the past week or so. Quite the opposite in fact, I had a great time with my family and I really hope you did too.
Nope, this grinch like attitude is more aligned with factors outside the immediate confines of my world, and more aligned with the myriad of utter fuckwits allowed to roam the globe unchecked in and on their mobile weapons. Yes I am talking about holiday drivers and riders. Or potential organ donors if you prefer. As one of those who is keeping the world revolving via work while most relax with friends and family, I have the privilege of sharing the roads with those who should not be sharing it with me. Period.
I realise this may sound selfish, maybe even conceited and irrationally over confident in my own driving standard as well. However the standards being demonstrated by many over the past week or 2 has genuinely even shocked this cynical old bastard more than once or twice.
These “potential organ donors”, or “Fuckwits” as I affectionately call them, seem to have no interest in either their own or others safety. I fear for my Friends, Family and myself as these Fuckwits sail along, around, over and through anything and everything without batting a friggin eyelid. Clearly no one has ever taught them how to use an indicator it seems, or that you don’t have to actually stop dead in a hurry at roundabouts and merge points onto freeways…. Yep merge points onto freeways people. They are just clearly suicidal with no thoughts as to how many others they will take out with them on this mission of theirs.
It has got me thinking that the mad mum’s doing the kiddy run to school mornings and afternoons are not as bad as they had seemed only a few short weeks ago. They are merely distracted and errant in my mind now behind the wheel of their 18 wheeler kiddy trolleys….. It is the Fuckwit office workers and other’s who rarely drive on a normal work schedule who are the real Kamikaze’s this time of year.
Maybe they just don’t have the guts to quit their shitty jobs or shitty personal lives, so they think by piloting their “Zero” wagon at full tilt with scant regard to others and the rules is the most glorious way to escape? You know the theory, “going out in a ball of flames that lights up the sky” and gets their rat like mug on the 6 o’clock news for 2.56 seconds that night….
Dunno about you, but I can think of many many other ways to embark on that Kamikaze mission which are far more glorious and newsworthy than riding my moped through some other poor fuckwits drivers door….. But hang on a sec, wouldn’t that work in our favour? Sadly no because somehow these Fuckwits ALWAYS seem to find the drivers door of a decent and undeserving innocent instead of a fellow Fuckwit.
So in keeping with the theory that a short rant is an effective rant, I will end it there for now. Hopefully I will get to post more mLr which are far more humorous in future, assuming I am not taken out by a fuckwit Kamikaze pilot over the next few weeks…
Stay safe and beware the Fuckwit driving / riding beside you next time a Family member, a Friend or yourself jumps in the car. Oh and bring back the mad mum’s doing the kiddy run, they are FAR more predictable than I ever gave them credit for after all!
Happy New Years to all
mLr
