Note to readers: If you are at ALL sensitive about religion and related subjects, LOOK AWAY NOW! You have been warned and I will not be responsible for the mental anguish you suffer should you choose to continue reading. That responsibility lies with my good friend TDoT who has apparently been nominated as honorary poor bastard responsible for anything that happens to anyone anywhere by some generous soul. He can be found here
Moving right along, if there is one thing I have noticed lately, it is all the religious nutters coming out of their little caves and ranting about how all of us who are not necessarily religious in a way they agree with are going to Hell in a hurry. I suppose apart from Easter they don’t get to come out and play too often the poor bastards, so I guess I should be more thankful there weren’t multiple murders and resurrections by the Romans a couple thousand years ago! Shame on me then!
Sadly for these nutters who are taking time out from whatever unspeakable things they normally do in their little caves, I am not religious in any way at all, let alone their way. The closest I have had to a spiritual experience in recent memory was the demolition of a ripper single malt bottle of scotch with some great mates after driving hot laps of Sandown Raceway in Melbourne! Not so sure that counts in this context though? Ahh bugger it, what the hell lets call it a count for now
So anyway, everywhere you read and look there is someone spruiking a different flavour of fire and brimstone. Wow I better get the word out to my friends and family that my time is at hand! My kids will be shattered, what with believing I would be around for a bit longer and all… I wouldn’t know what flavour to try anyway to be honest. At last count I estimate there are over 20+ versions of the bible, and contained within them are many many more variations on the method of life and death of said fellow HeyZuse which mostly conflict with all the others!! Mmmmmm I can see why they are so popular now, as each time someone wants to start a cult like the pontiff’s of years gone by did, they just add a few thousand words or just change what’s already there entirely and hey presto! New New Newer Older Testament! It’s like a McReligion franchise, where they can even ask if you would like Prophets with your McBible meal deal? No those “prophets” are for the non “Profit” organisations of course silly…
To add further to the conundrum for me, I was reading about rival tribes of Monks beating the bejesus (like how I snuck that in?) out of each other with broom sticks in the holy holy holy crib joint during a ceremonial cleaning ceremony thingy a few days ago. Got me to thinking what I was missing out on here. The message I got was that it is not only Ok, but in fact Expected that if you buy one of these McBible meal deals and eat it up, then you will beat the bejuses (there it is again!) out of anyone who disagrees with you! Cool, a licence to kick arse!!
Oh well, that’s life (and death!) in the McWorld I suppose. I better just nip out now and update my Will and attend to several other personal matters that need to be tidied up before go and play with the sinners. I figure I have at least a few hours after this is posted to get it all done before that bolt of lightning smites me as it will take that long for the myriad of higher powers to fight out which one’s version of the tales I have blighted!
Until next time then, assuming there is a next time for me of course!
Authors note: I respect everyone’s right to their beliefs, opinions etc and this is simply just mine. Live and let live I say.